Change is the only constant in this life. You tie yourself down to friendships and relationships, jobs and cities, and ideas about what your life will be when not a single item on your list is bound to come true. What you don’t foresee are the people who will walk out of your life, leaving you emotionally crippled and wondering the point of your seemingly purposeless existence.
What you don’t expect to happen is everything you never imagined; all the pain sitting heavily on your heart, or burning in the back of your throat as you try to hold back tears months and months at a time. The heartbreak will nearly kill you, but it won’t. Losing your best friend will make you want to cling to the good times instead of seeing her for the toxic bitch she is. Loneliness will try to eat you alive and run you into the ground, but don’t let it.
As you’re coming into this new version of yourself, try not to fight it. Try to embrace these new twists and turns, and believe that you will reveal to yourself parts of you that you didn’t think could be real. Notice the strength you have in not giving in and phoning your past because it’s comfortable, and because it’s what you’ve done every other time. Praise yourself for the fleeting moments of feeling centered and balanced, despite the losses you have faced.
Believe that everything will be okay, because it will. Today, you social media stalk. Today, you imagine what you’re missing out on in the lives of past loved ones. You binge eat to keep your hands busy, and you think you’ll be trapped in this place of wallowing forever. But you won’t. Tomorrow, you get up and that person doesn’t cross your mind until noon. Tomorrow, you didn’t register that it’s your ex best friend’s birthday. Tomorrow, it all starts to hurt less and less, until it stops completely.
Change is the only constant in this life. It is an ever-evolving moving force that requires effort, adaptability, and positivity. Look from within, and then take your first step. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to not want to let go, but find your power and allow yourself to jump into it. Allow yourself to find the blessings that one can only be presented with once you are committed to the journey of you. Forgive, be honest with, and accept yourself. We are all imperfect beings, and that is the beauty of it all. None of us know what we’re doing; we are one giant world of baby steps. Just breathe.
It’s also important to note that this journey is entirely your own. Love yourself enough to turn away anyone who tries to disturb your peace.
That’s not being selfish. It’s self-preservation.
Recognize your power enough to understand that it isn’t selfish not to make room for those whose internal nomadism might negatively impact your journey of finding yourself. We are all deeply rooted with foundations created by those who brought us into this world. Unintentionally, we carry this with us in imaginary backpacks as we form relationships and friendships, all stacked atop cracked foundations from a past we never dismantled. Let it go.
I can’t stress that enough.
When you have that breakthrough amidst the crumbling of your life and you realize that you need to do and be better, the road isn’t wide enough to carry the baggage of your life. You are not who you were five years ago. You are not who you were one year ago. Self-care and self-love will allow you to not forget about that person, but move forward. Take what you learned from all your experiences and little by little, do better.
Be better. Change is upon us at all times, but you don’t have to waver. Embrace it. Don’t be afraid it, but rather be open to what lies ahead. Allow your power to lead and guide you to a healthier version of yourself.
Let go. Let life. Let love. Let you.
farrah dominique. 